someaveragechap 2024-02-12 11:37:09

Taylor Swift has the power to change the Super Bowl? What's next? Save Disney stock? Elect a new president? Something must be done!

Quarl 2024-02-12 14:37:03

We now interrupt this broadcast to inform Dave that his stolen iphone has been sending us creepy messages asking us to inform our viewers to notify Dave that it must be rescued at all costs, time is running out. At this moment we have yet to know if anyone else is being held captive, the situation is still unfolding. In addition, we have received video footage captured from the perspective of the iphone of an advanced interrogation, which looks like but is not to be confused with actual torture. We warn our viewers at home that the following footage is very graphic. This is... too much blood...please look away. The inhumanity... the cruelty... It seems we're dealing with a real psychopath on our hands, that iphone probably should have called 911 instead. Dave we beg of you, please log into your apple account and track down your phone's location, then forward that information to the proper authorities. We just want to stop receiving these emails...

In other news, due to the recent producers strike we will be forced to air reruns of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ" until further notice.

KhaosKitsune617 2024-02-12 17:56:24

they watched alfreds playhouse